Addison

Our little Addison friend was a long awaited blessing. After more miscarriages than I care to remember, we finally decided that her pregnancy would be our last. If it ended in carrying a baby full term, we would be thrilled. If it ended in a miscarriage, it would be my last. Jeff and I always felt strongly about having 3 children, but the road to parenthood had not been easy for us. And, of course, we all know how the story ended...our little Addison joined our family on June 17th, 2008.

And, boy has she made her presence known in our home! She has been a grumpy little friend from day 1. We have tried soy formulas, milk-based formulas, lactose-free formulas, gas drops, gripe water, antacids, infant massage, Motrin, cereal bottles, Tylenol, chiropractors, humidifiers, Oragel...the list seems to go on and on. We try all we can do to make her happy, but it's often to no avail. It seems like she's in pain, but often times, it almost seems like she is bored or frustrated. Perhaps she's frustrated with this big spirit in a little body. Whatever the reason, we still have yet to figure our little girl out.

Often times I joke with her that she is the exclamation point at the end of our babymaking story. We knew she would be the last, we knew our story would end with her, but she has added the exclamation point for us!

And then there's an issue with her head size. Her head is off the charts (well, as of a week ago she is back on, at the 97th percentile). Her pediatrician has been nervous about it and has pushed for an MRI. I feel strongly that such an invasive procedure shouldn't be done unless it's absolutely necessary. Delaney had a big head (upper 90's%) and her cousins have big heads (Hi Lincoln and Q!) so I feel like it's familial. So, her ped. instead obsesses over milestones as a way of making sure there's nothing unusual going on in that noggin of hers.

I've hated worrying every step of the way if she's accomplishing everything according to how someone else wants her to. But it's helped me avoid the MRI, so worry I do. My days seem to be filled with worry over whether she's pointing with her index finger, playing patty-cake, babbling in multiple syllables, etc. Sometimes I feel like my already high maintenance child is even higher maintenance because she keeps me guessing until the last second. She barely squeaks by with a passing grade at her monthly appointments. So, last week, for her 9 month appointment, I was dreading telling the Dr. that she was not yet crawling. Lucky for us, we were informed that crawling is not considered a milestone because often times kiddos just skip it. So, at least it wasn't a missed milestone, but I have still been dying for her to crawl.

It just seems that Addison has a world that she's ready to conquer, and this body that she doesn't have control over has been holding her back. I sit her on the ground and she cries and cries, seeming like she's wanted to get up and go! So, though most people say I should enjoy her being immobile, I've been anxious to have her start crawling. I've been convinced that once she can start exploring, she'll be happier.

Well, tonight she finally figured it out! Watch out, World, here she comes! Will it make her happier? Who knows. I've thought many things over the past 9 months would make her happy, only to watch her continued frustration. But here's to hoping it will. Stay tuned...