When my kids went to preschool, there would be a Thanksgiving Feast every year. And then, at the end of the year, there was an "End of Year Picnic". Of course, there was always a sign-up for the parents to bring food. We could sign up to bring a main course, salad, dessert or drink. Typically I would sign up to bring a salad, and make
Hillary's salad that feeds many and everyone loves.
I was always too embarrassed to bring just the drink. I never signed up to bring
just the drink, because I suppose that somewhere, deep inside, I figured I loved my kid less if all I offered to bring was a drink. Or, maybe, I figured that I am blessed to be able to stay home with my kids, so I have the time to home make something to share. Or, I figure that bringing the drinks then makes someone else have to bring the more difficult, time consuming main course. And, then in turn, I feel badly about making someone else do work that I am capable of doing (like my friend Karen says, "I'll just get less sleep that night"). In any case, I always felt like bringing just the drink was a cop out.
However, I will admit I signed up to bring the drink for the picnic when I was 900 weeks pregnant with Addison. And I felt so ashamed. I had to tell all the moms that were standing around, watching me sign up for drinks, that I was only doing it because I was pregnant. I felt I had to give an excuse for taking the easy way out. But, once she was here, it was back to home made offerings.
Fast forward from preschool to earlier this year. Back in May I told the higher powers over at the elementary school that I would volunteer in any way they needed. I now have two kids there, so I figured I should put in my time. Then, in August, I took on a large responsibility in our church, which has proven to take up much of my time. So, now I find myself overextended because of church and school responsibilities, with a toddler at home. I have dried up any "favors" of babysitting. I fear my friends will soon start to screen my calls - I'm always looking for help with Addison.
Now I find myself as the room mom for Jackson's class. I've never done this before, and I figured everyone felt the same about drinks that I did. Surely everyone would be clamoring to help volunteer and donate because of that "mommy guilt" that would cause them to want to prove how together they are. But, that hasn't happened. Any time I ask for a volunteer or a donation for a party, everyone wants to bring plates and napkins. For the Halloween party, I had 8 people offer to bring plates and napkins. Aren't plates and napkins like the drinks from the preschool party? Aren't they the easy way out?
All those women have figured it out. They have figured out what they have time for in their lives, and elaborate fruit platters at the Halloween party are not one of them. They've come to realize that in the grand scheme of things, finding time to donate craft projects or cookies are not something to be prioritized.
Delaney is in Daisy scouts this year. There are three daisy scout leaders. And each time I pick her up from a Daisy meeting, I have a strong pang of guilt for making these other moms be the leaders. I feel badly that I haven't volunteered to do it myself. Here is something my daughter loves participating in, and these women give a lot of hours towards, and I feel guilty that I don't do more. Even though I really don't think I have time for one.more.thing.
Now I'm left wondering how to become more of a plates and napkins kind of gal. How do I let go of the guilt if I don't take on the biggest task? I realize there's a balance that needs to be struck. I don't want to be a lazy mom, but I think I need a few more plates and napkins in my life.
On another, more random topic...I saw birds flying in "V" formation today. Guess where they were going?
Due North.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who's lost today.
