Alright, I have to admit something really terrible now. Here it goes... I don't know if I like Addison's name! It's not that I don't like it (I obviously think it's a lovely name, otherwise it wouldn't have made it to the top of my list), but I just don't know if I like it for her.
I'm sure this will scar her in about 13 years when she finds this post, but I need to get this off my chest. Might make for a funny story some day??
When it came to naming Jackson, I'd known since about age 15 my first born son would be Jackson. I was lucky to marry someone who agreed, so that was a no-brainer. Then, when I was pregnant with Delaney, my parent's had gotten a wedding invitation in the mail for a guy I grew up with (I can't even remember his name). He was marrying a girl named Colby and she was beautiful and the invite was lovely, and I was smitten, so my baby was to be Colby. And then, when I was 7 months pregnant, I remembered I'd worked with a woman who'd named her daughter Delaney, and we both loved it more than Colby, so that's how my first born daughter came to be named Delaney.
Next came the task of naming my second daughter. We'd liked Addison since my pregnancy with Delaney. Then we moved to Illinois and there was a baby on the street named Addison, and she was darling and her mom was nice/cute so I then decided, my next daughter would be named Addison. (Although, most from these parts think we named her that because we're huge Cubs fans. Wrigley Field is downtown at the intersection of Addison and Clark.)
But then, I decided I loved the name Cate, too. Delaney has her Grandma Clark's name for her middle name, so I wanted this daughter to have her Grandma Critt's name. Grandma Critt's name is Catherine, so I could shorten it to Cate. See how that works? So, for the entire 9 months, the constant conversation was, "Addison or Cate?" We'd get so sick of debating, we'd let it rest for a few weeks, and then back it came, "Addison or Cate?".
And then we had a stroke of genius. We decided not to decide, and just name her both. See, it's even on her wall. Addie Cate.
We figured we had the best of both worlds. We would call her both and they'd be interchangeable and we didn't have to decide.Except that it's not working. She is always Addie. No one calls her anything but Addie. Rarely is the Cate thrown in. And the worst part? I think she is more of a Cate. I think I am having name remorse. I brought up changing her name to Cate, but the big kids threw a fit. And would I be the worst mom ever if I did that, six months in?
I know that I will love the name Addison (and she will "become" an Addison to me) as she starts to take on even more of a personality. Addie is just a *tad* (said with great sarcasm) high maintenance, so we haven't seen her fun side yet. I know once she decides that life is great and that these 4 Clarks who adore her are fun to be around, her personality will blossom. It's just right now, I sit and stew about her name, and lean heavily towards Cate.
Am I alone? Has anyone else had name remorse? I already know I'm crazy, and I'm probably even crazier for actually verbalizing this, but I've been giving it a lot of thought lately. Maybe too much thought...
P.S. - Happy New Year! Christmas pictures to come once I have time to upload pictures. You know, once Christmas is taken down, boxed up, suitcases unpacked (I still have 2 to go), cleaned out toy cupboards to make room for new Christmas toys, etc...
28 comments:
I'm a bit embarrassed to admit it, but I've personally had a hard time remembering to call her Addison. Ever since you told me you thought Cate suited her, that's what I want to call her.
I say change it.
Okay, that may seem like a hasty response, but you don't want to regret it. I almost didn't change Cade's name. He was Caden for 3 days after we left the hospital and I couldn't take it. He just looked too much like a Cade to be forced to be a Caden. I know 3 days vs. 6 months is hardly a comparison, but better 6 months than 6 years or just not thinking her name suits for the rest of her life.
If you'd like, I'll help insert in next weeks sacrament meeting program a notice about the name change. Something like, "Kelli is very sensitive about this, so please support her in the changing of her daughter's name. She is now Cate. Please don't ask questions. Thank you."
Kell: Oh sweetie - if it bothers you that much, then change it to Cate. I told you that my vote is for Addie Cate and then you can call her Cate and J and D can call her Addie and I'll call her Addie Cate.
I support Michelle in putting the announcement in the Sacrament Meeting program. Just in case this post doesn't scar her, then the announcement to the ward will.
By the way, what does her father think?
I'm used to Addison now, but I agree with Kel that she may not look like one. I think we'll need to test it out and see what happens.
good idea. Test it out. I'll rephrase the handout to say "please support the Clarks in testing out a new name for their daughter." of course I'll mention how sensitive kelli is, not to ask questions, etc. etc.
so, um, how did Cate do today? Did she take a good nap for you?
Well I called this evening to tell you to just change it because it's just going to bug you more and more as time goes on. Does she look like a "Cate" to you? Having said that though, Marc didn't look like a "Marc" to me either until he was about a year and now I think his name fits him perfectly!
I think if you change it she'll never remember being "Addie" and if you keep calling her Cate the other two will follow suit eventually.
Does this name remorse have anything to do with her cousin being named Abby?
funny...i just had a conversation with my husband's cousin last week that had the exact tone. she and her husband debated 2 names...they picked one and now she wants the other one. she's even gone so far as to find out that it's a $350 process that has to be done at the county courthouse. but her older kids are fighting her on it. good luck!! i wish i could see her whatever she's called!
I know you talked about this at Wolf Creek, but I don't think you should change it. I think that you should just push calling her Addie Cate. I think that really fits her. :)
Okay, this is hilarious! (although maybe not to you!). Did you know that technically I am a Rebecca? My name is Rebecca Louise. At least you and Jeff agreed on Addison - my parents chose Rebecca as a last resort because it was the only name they could agree on. My mother wanted Louise as my frst name; my father wannted Harriet or, worse still, Henrietta!
So for the first year of my life I was Becky. And then my mother decided that a) I didn't suit Becky and b) she couldn't stand the way my father pronounced my name: "beckay"!! (this is all true).
So around my first birthday, she put me to bed as Becky and woke me up the next morning as Louise! (still all true). Apparently I responded really well to my new identity and it took a while for everyone ne else to adjust!
I'm still Rebecca legally so all my legal documents etc say that name, but I am now a Louise.
Long story to simply say - changing her name now won't do her any lasting damage - and it makes a great story for next year's Christmas newsletter!! (ps. loved the picture of your kids in this year's!)
Good luck!
My sister's full name is Elizabeth and my parents decided to call her Beth, after my Mom's sister, so for the first 3 years of her life it was Beth. When she was 3 SHE decided that her name would be Liz. She would only answer to Liz after that. Maybe when she's a little older, she'll be telling you what her name should be. Good luck!
First: I did something a while ago that deleted my entire blogroll so thank you for commenting so I could put you back on & now you're on my Google Reader so it shant happen again! But I went back & am all caught up on your bloglife now.
Second: Oh my dilemma here!! So are you saying Addison is more for a happy-go-lucky type and Cate is for more of a "high maintenance" type? Personally I love both! My two cents is that either way she won't be psychologically damaged. We don't call any of our kids by their real names anyway. Garret somehow always manages to create some nickname that sticks.
Third: She is DANG CUTE!
When we names Kaitlyn it took me FOREVER to see her as a Kaitlyn. Here she is 2 and a half and finally to me she's a Kaitlyn. I'm struggling with what to do with girl #3. Todd and I both like something different.
Good luck with the whole name thing. Can't wait to hear what you do.
I say change it. What's the worst that would happen? Before your family moved into our ward, we had another family that had a daughter, Lindsey. After they moved away she decided that she wasn't a Lindsey and changed her name to Dawn. She was a teenager. Since Addison is only 6 months old, there wouldn't be any lasting effects. Good luck!
Kel - I think you should keep her name as Addie Cate. But maybe just call her Cate or whatever you feel like calling her. And name changes aren't ever too emotionally scarring. To tell you the truth, in high school I realized I didn't know how to say my name (that was actually somewhat disturbing). All my life my parents have called me Lauren (but sounding like Loren) and my siblings have called me Lauren (emphasis on the "a"), and lets be honest, who even knows the correct way to say Nuttall - I've heard mother say a million different pronunciations!
*and yes, I know this makes me sound like an idiot*
Seriously, Kelli you and names! You have never thought your dad looked like a Gary and I can't even remember all the other people that you have had a hard time calling them their name. I think this is so funny but it dosn't suprise me because you have always been so funny about people looking like their name. I don't mean to turn this into something funny becacuse I know it's serious to you but I am just giggling about it because I know you and I love you and all your worries. She is so cute and I LOVE the name Addie and you can call her Cate and she will decide when she gets older which she prefers. Good Luck you cute thing!
I have the same issue. We don't even call Hayden "Hayden". In our house we call him "Little Brother",so does our extended families. He is almost a year old and I'm trying to figure out what this little bundle of joy is going to be called. He can't start school thinking his name is "Little Brother". We can't afford therapy. But to me, he is not a "Hayden". I decided a few weeks ago to start calling him "Cash"(his middle name), but not sure that even fits, so I'm totally lost because I don't even know what I would change his name too. I just keep thing that eventually he'll get a nickname that fits him, like "Tank" or something....Ha ha.
I say just go with your heart. You're not the only parent who struggles with this issue. I think both names fit her, so I'll call her whatever you want me too. Good Luck!
Jodie
Names are soooo tricky. Think about it. Parents name their children before they even have time to get to know them, and then kids are saddled with the name that their parents chose for them.
If you feel she is more Cate than Addie, now is the time to make the change. Moms know these kinds of things. My sister began calling her son by his middle name Ryan when he was firstborn and eventually switched to calling him his first name Nicholas, and no one ever thinks twice about it. (yes, that's Nikki who has a son Nick.)
My mom wanted me to name my daughter Chloe, but at the time I really did NOT like that name. Ironically, now I love the name and Jessica would have been a perfect Chloe. It suits her to a T. Sigh. Ten years is too late to change...but a few months old, that's nothing.
And BTW Your friend Michelle is one funny gal! I LOLed about the sacrament meeting program idea. Hilarious!
I'm sorry - I totally have to giggle. I have always loved Addie Cate - and always will. But...I know you and its hard to let things go once you get concerned about it...so just go with what you want.
Secondly, I would like to clarify that Lauren had great difficulty pronouncing many things besides her name (semi was semee, Utah was ootuh) and I could never hear the difference between how I said it and the kids said it.
Thirdly, I want a friend like Michelle, because of her absolute concern with the bulletin! What an awesome, caring, thoughtful woman she must be! Go Michelle....send me a copy
Yes, I do indeed love Michelle. The funny thing, Carolyn, is that Michelle is our recently released RS Pres., so yes, she does indeed think by way of the ward bulletin!
So I think we're going to do a trial run and see how we feel calling her Cate for a few days. How do the older kids feel about it? Jackson cried when we told him.
This is so funny, but I get it. It's a big deal.
Jacob is really Aaron Jacob. I knew I wanted him known as Jacob, but Aaron (as in my husband who's first name is actually Anthony) wanted Aaron first, for the option of A.J.. So, he won, and it was a fight. The nurse in the hospital was getting really annoyed that I kept putting off the paperwork because I was trying to get my way.
Now the little guy is known around our house as "Dake" some kind of spin off from "Jake"- but it fits.
I LOVE the name Catherine, it's always been a favorite of mine. Keep us updated to how she and her siblings are responding to the "Cate" trail. I love it!
BTW- I recently got out some of the clothes "Dake" inherited from Jackson... thank you again! ;)
okay - this is too funny. I guess I don't understand why people can't just call her what they want to call her - either Addie or Cate or, in my case, both? I don't think it will confuse her. Poor Jackson - he's probably more traumatized by this than Addie or Cate will ever be!
Oh - I forgot to add that I too love Michelle - she's one of a kind!!!
Whoa. You've gotten quite a commentary here. Of course, I love the name Addison and if she had a middle name it would be Kate so I love that too. I'd just keep it and let people call her what they want. Eventually it will boil down to one name either way. And I have a whole slew of cousins who go by their middle names for various reasons. I'm dying to hear what you decide!
If it makes you feel better, Aaron and Kerry have "Aaron Jordan" and they called him Aaron until he was like 2 and then they started calling him Jordan. His first day of Kindergarten the teacher accidentally called him Aaron so he's been Aaron in school(until this year, I think he finally chose Jordan as his name preference), but his friends still call him Jordan. It isn't confusing to him and he's 8 now. So some people call him Aaron and some call him Jordan.
-Kiera
Kelli - "what's in a name?" Some people call me Ursula, some Urs, some Uschi, some Usch, some, Teacher, or Mrs. B., some Aunt, others, Grandma, Queen, or Sister Blonquist. One even calls me Honey. I love, understand, and answer to all. Call that little sweetheart what(who)you feel she is, and we'll follow suit, if it means a lot to you. Till you decide, I will be safe and call her Addie Cate.
Holy Cow, How do you even have time to read all the comments you get?
I think leave it legally and call her what you want. Trey is a middle name, and Natasha was set on calling him his "real" name... but it didn't last. When he is older he will have 2 options.
ps. Jeff and your comment about our clunky cars gave us a laugh :)
Wow, you have a popular blog - I'm the 26th comment! I've had a hard time with both of my kids names. I loved Lacey, but I almost didn't name her that because I was sure that everyone would just think of Lacie Peterson, and thus death and saddness. Luckily, I don't think that has been the case, but would anyone really admit that to me? And then with Tanner, we had the same debate as you did. I really wanted Mitchell to be in the name and Dave has loved the name Tanner for a boy since he was in middle school. But, should we name him Tanner Mitchell or Mitchell Tanner? We decided on the first, thinking as you did, that people could call him either one, but just as you said, EVERYONE calls him Tanner (probably because we always do) and it makes me a little sad that Mitchell is somewhat lost in his name when it was such an important part of his name to me.
Holy Moly you have a lot of readers. It was fun to hear from you on our blog. I hope you don't mind, but I am going to add you to my list. About the names, whoa I think you have had enough input. good luck.
For our third Taylor, it was a happy agreement between Jeff and I. We both wanted something else. We rarely call her Taylor it gets shortened to Tay or Tay Tay. So a friend heard me call her TayTay and she informed me that TayTay means Vagina in hawaiian. So what do you know? I still call her that because she is Tay Tay.
Another funny story is that my ex boyfriend also has a Taylor, didn't know it when we picked it, but kind of funny. Last thing both of our dads thought we named her Jordan, and told people seperately that was her name. Boy was I wondering if there was some divine inspiration there. Jordan wasn't even on our list. Weird.
Okay next time I post on your blog, I promise to be more brief. Cute family!
I'm always a little late to chime in but I've always wished I had named Matthew "Matthew David" after Dave...because William and Olivia have middle names that have meaning..Matthew is Evan and we just liked it before he was born...I want to legally change it but everyone thinks I'm crazy now that he is almost 10. I say do it now if you want...but I love Addie Cate and I thought you were so clever.
Post a Comment