Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

I have come to understand that parenting is a series of successes and failures. Two steps forward, one steps back. Most days I hope to end up on a forward step when all is said and done. Back when I was 19, I spent a day with Susan Jones in NYC. She's a great friend of my moms (and mine), and for the day, it was just us two gals in the city (lukewarm water and all). Somehow in the course of our many conversations that day, she was talking about the role of a mother. I've never forgotten how her words impressed on my 19 year old mind that the role of the mother is one of eternal importance. The most important thing I could do as a mother is understand that I am responsible for their spiritual welfare and well being, she said. Completely, she said. No one else's job, she said. The buck stops with you, she said. And so, I've often thought back to that May day in NYC, 13 (ohmygosh!) years ago, when I first started thinking about being a mother.

So, what's a girl to do? Try and do Family Home Evening as well and as often as possible. Teach my children the importance of prayer. Have gospel-centered conversations in our home. In a perfect world, I would be the perfect mother of perfect children who sponged up all this information. Many steps forward, and nary a step back, right?

Oh, how I love to celebrate the steps forward! I remember when Jackson was 2, we were visiting my parents. One morning Jackson woke up and we went down to the kitchen for breakfast. "What did you dream about last night, Jackson?" my mother asked. "Jesus" he replied. It melted her heart and of course I was delighted that I've taught him so well, that yes, indeed, he dreams about Jesus.

What about the instance a few weeks ago, when Delaney told the little neighbor girl that she couldn't marry Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid because she needed to get married in the temple? Or the other day when picking Delaney up from her friend, Lily's house. I was talking to Lily's mom, Karen, as I was walking out and Delaney interrupts us to show us all these letter "t"s she's written all over the driveway. Such a good girl, she's working on her letters! But then she tells me, "Mom, these are crosses. You know, the kind Jesus died on." Um, a little morbid, but true, and so I file it away as an example of one step forward. See, they are listening and absorbing and I must be doing something right, right?

Well, then there are the one step back moments. How about the time when Jackson was 4 and we went down for a trip to Washington DC? We are driving along the highway and as we come up the hill, there above us, glowing in the early evening dusk, is the DC temple. "Jackson, look! What is that?". "Mom! It's Cinderella's Castle!".

Jackson is turning 8 in just 3 short weeks. This means he'll be baptized soon. So, we've been having conversations, FHE lessons, and lots of planning going on surrounding this event. Well, this past weekend, Delaney is skipping around the house singing a primary song, "I can't wait until I'm eight...". "Delaney, why can't you wait until you're eight?", Jeff asks her. "So I can be a cub scout!" Yep, I can file that one under the one step back category.

And then there are those times when they *almost* get it. The idea here is that the execution is just a little fuzzy. A few months back, for a week or so, Delaney was telling us that Jesus has a bad brother, and his name is "Mushroom Head". This went on for days, and she was not to be convinced that his name was anything other than Mushroom Head. So, she gets points for understanding that Jesus does have a bad brother, but we have to work on his name.

And then last night, I call Delaney in from coloring on the driveway. The latest craze at our house is to draw a "town" with streets and buildings all over the driveway and then they drive their bikes/trikes/scooters all over the streets and get errands done. Delaney points out to me her temple that she's drawn.


"Isn't it beautiful, Mom? It has a pink roof and a purple and yellow door." So, see, she's *almost* got it.

So, most days at the Clark house are not two step forward days. We have a pitiful number of one step back days. We have a lot of *almost*s and often times the step forwards could be reinterpreted as a coincidence. But for now, I am grateful for the examples of my friends and family, who make two steps forward look easy enough to keep aiming for.